Jon XL

MATERIAL: PLATINUM CURE SILICONE
MADE TO ORDER. 1-2 WEEKS PROCESSING TIME
Regular price$236.00
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Shipping calculated at checkout.
Size chart
CIRCUMFERENCE AT HEAD   10 in  25.4 cm
CIRCUMFERENCE AT BOTTOM OF SHAFT     11.90 in  30.23 cm
INSERTABLE LENGTH    8 in      20.3 cm
OVERALL LENGTH    9.50 in   24.1 cm
WEIGHT

  4 lb

SOFT: Shore 00 30, aka number 3 in the durometer scale (ECOFLEX 00 30 BY SMOOTH ON)

MED FIRM: Shore 00 50, aka number 5 in the durometer scale (ECOFLEX 00 50 BY SMOOTH ON)

These firmness match exactly those of popular toy store Bad Dragon.

This item has an estimated processing time of 1-2 weeks. Once shipped, domestic orders usually take 2-6 days to arrive while international orders usually take 4-10 days to arrive. Calculated rates are available from multiple carriers at check out.

All orders are subject to extended delays due to production setbacks. 

Please read my Shipping Policy and Refund Policy prior to making a purchase..

SOC ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE 01.10.2048

The Male Centauri Alien Army had a cruel plan: they would break into homes and terrorize the entire family by dishonoring the head of the house, often in front of them. If the father could survive their brutal assault, which included getting impaled by gigantic alien cock about 15 inches long and as wide as a human knee, then the rest of the family would be spared and taken as prisoners of war and sexual concubines. However, if he did not survive, no one did.

The Martyr Bottom Human Army’s strategy was to place five agents in each house when a neighborhood was in danger. These agents would disguise themselves as an average family - mom, dad, and their young adult son - while the real family would hide away. Two snipers would hide inside, waiting for the perfect opportunity to take out the giant beasts that would frequently appear in pairs. But to kill them was a daunting task (with the Kill Pill yet to be invented), and since 90% of their bodies were protected by a hard shell similar to that of a cockroach and bullet proof. This left just four vulnerable spots - genitals, face, back of the head and center of chest - for an effective shot. The best opportunity to hit the target came during ejaculation when they entered a trance and become defenseless for an entire minute. But they rarely ejaculated at the same time, missing the shot fired at the fully conscious beast would be disastrous, as it could be the last shot you ever fired. On top of that, if they died without fully releasing their load, their cocks would swell up and stay hard, making it extremely difficult to remove them from the bodies of the Martyr Bottom agents. 

The female agent would become the eyes of the operation - since the Centauri alien always put on a show for mom, tying her up and forcing her to watch - she was  equipped with body cameras and a neural link microchip in her brain, allowing her to transform her thoughts into text or speech to quickly communicate with both snipers and Motherboard, an outside agent at headquarters overseeing the operation and aiding to its success.

Martyr Bottom Military Defense Operation: Riverside 67p508

Date: Friday 10th, January, 2048. 
Location: Pleasant Valley, Austin Tx. United States, Planet Earth.

Team:

Martyr Bottom 1: Commander Jon 
Martyr Bottom 2: Agent April 
Martyr Bottom 3: Agent Sullivan 
Sniper 1: Agent Rodriguez 
Sniper 2: Commander Patrick


11:45 pm - Transmission begins.

Agent April:  Motherboard, this is Agent April reporting for Operation Riverside 67p508.  All agents are in place. Commander Jon, Agent Sullivan and me, Agent April, pose as the family. Our snipers are Commander Patrick and Agent Rodriguez. We are ready for this home invasion. We are ready for these  alien beasts. 

Motherboard: Copied. Thanks for the confirmation, Agent. Operation Riverside 67p508 is now in the system. You have a green light to start. Good luck to all of you tonight. 

12:28 am

Agent April: We just heard a loud crash. I believe our guests are here.

Motherboard: Copied 

12:31 am

Agent April: Oh god! It is Confirmed. The beasts are here at full force. I hope we live to tell the tale.

Motherboard: Don’t worry, Agent. You will. 

12:45 am

Agent April: The beasts have managed to tie me up and propped me up to watch the spectacle, and a spectacle it is as they are extremely well endowed. These have got to be most massive alien cocks that have invaded our planet, Motherboard. Í almost feel bad for our agents.

Motherboard:  Our male Martyr Bottom agents have gone through years of intensive training, I am sure that they can handle it pretty well. If you know what I mean, Agent April. [laughs] 

Agent April: Yeah. [laughs] Sometimes I feel bad for them but sometimes I feel envious of the whole…… [transmission starts fading] the one that gets to… [voice fades] but I am sorry, it’s hard not to say what I am thinking with this device connected to…. [transmission cuts off]

12:46 am  - Signal is lost. 

——————————————

3:37 am   - Signal is recovered. Transmission is reestablished.  

Motherboard: Agent April. Can you hear me? Are you ok? Please provide an update.

Agent April: The situation is dire, Motherboard. I am alive but agent Rodriguez is down, he could still be alive. Please send reinforcements.

Motherboard:  I am afraid that there are no available agents at the moment. But that could change soon. Are you able to provide further details on the events of the past few hours?

Agent April: We took down one beast during ejaculation thanks to Commander Patrick, but he fired too soon. Agent Sullivan has been trying to disengage from the beast’s swollen cock for hours now, to no success. Rodriguez missed the shot with the second beast and he was violently thrown against a wall. He appears to be unconscious, hopefully he is not dead. The beast disarmed Commander Patrick and has him pinned down to the floor, crushing him with his giant foot, rendering him immobile, all while still inside Commander Jon. He has been fucking him for hours now. I do really feel for him, you can tell that he is struggling after all this time. I must say, the endurance of that man is incredible, this beast is literally destroying his ass. I haven’t managed to untie myself, but if I do, I am very close to Rodriguez and I could take his gun. 

Motherboard: Copied. A team near by has become available. I am sending them your way now.

3:39 am 

Agent April: The beast has started the process of ejaculation. If I could only reach that gun. 

Motherboard:  Just hang on Agent April. The team should be there in no time. 

Agent April: I really hope they do. Otherwise Agent Sullivan and I will finally get to see what their spacecraft look from the inside, which has been a dream of mine but was hoping to see them from a different perspective…

3:40 am  - A gunshot is fired. The second beast falls dead. 

Motherboard:  Agent April, please provide an update.

Agent April: Oh god. Motherboard, you won’t believe what just happened. It seems like the lady of the house, single mom Joanna - who we met earlier and told us she was taking firearm lessons - decided to put her skills to the test, she descended from the attic and shot the beast on the back of the head, right in the middle, saving our asses, just like that. This is just incredible. 

Motherboard: These are great news Agent April. Your team deserves praise for the endurance and the courage . But that there is a lady showing us, and showing our alien invaders who is in charge. Quite impressive I see, from a 29 year old single mom from Austin Texas. Bravo! This one goes for the records. 

Agent April: Copied  

3: 45 am - End of transmission. 


Operation status: Completed, successful  
Martyr Bottom casualties: 1 
Male Centauri casualties: 2

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